Parent Accommodation Log
A daily log for parents to record each time they accommodate their child's anxiety (reassurance, allowing avoidance, taking over), what triggered it, and what happened, to establish a baseline and then track reduction of one chosen accommodation.
About this resource
Reducing family accommodation is one of the best-supported parent-directed interventions for childhood anxiety and OCD. Before it can be reduced it has to be seen, and most parents underestimate how often they accommodate because each instance is small and automatic: a quick 'yes, it's fine', a lift instead of the bus, checking a door on request. A structured log makes the pattern visible. It also gives the clinician real data for choosing the first target, and gives the parent a way to track their own consistency once they begin to change.
This log has two phases. In the first week the parent records everything, without trying to change anything, so that a baseline emerges. Entries capture the trigger, the accommodation itself, the child's distress before and after, and how the parent felt. In the second phase the parent selects one accommodation with their clinician, plans the supportive response they will use instead, and records each occasion: whether they accommodated or held the plan, what they said, and how the child responded over the following minutes. The 'how the child responded' column is where parents learn that distress rises and then falls even when they do not step in.
The professional version suggests reviewing the log with the parent at each session, starting with praise for any occasion the parent held steady, and looking for patterns in triggers (time of day, transitions, one parent more than the other). It also notes that a parent who cannot complete the log usually needs the task made smaller, not more encouragement.
How to use it
- Introduce after the parent has read Supporting an Anxious Child Without Accommodating Anxiety and understands why accommodation matters. Emphasise that week one is observation only.
- Go through the first entry together using an incident from the past few days, so the parent knows what level of detail is useful.
- At the next session, review the baseline. Count the accommodations, identify the most frequent, and choose one target that the parent feels able to change.
- Script the supportive response together: acceptance plus confidence, then a plan for what the parent will do while the child protests. Write it on the log.
- Review the reduction entries weekly. Praise consistency, examine any occasion the parent accommodated without blame, and note how long the child's distress lasted when the parent held steady. Add a second target when the first is stable.
References
- Lebowitz, E. R. (2019). Addressing Parental Accommodation When Treating Anxiety in Children. Oxford University Press.
- Lebowitz, E. R., & Omer, H. (2013). Treating Childhood and Adolescent Anxiety: A Guide for Caregivers. Wiley.
- Freeman, J. B., & Garcia, A. M. (2009). Family-Based Treatment for Young Children with OCD: Therapist Guide. Oxford University Press.
