Talking to Your Parents About Mental Health
A handout for adolescents who want to tell a parent or caregiver that they are struggling with their mental health but do not know how. Covers why it is hard, what to say, how to handle a difficult reaction, and what to do if the conversation does not go well.
About this resource
Research on adolescent help-seeking (Rickwood and colleagues, 2005; Gulliver, Griffiths and Christensen, 2010) consistently identifies parents as the most common gateway to professional help for young people, and also identifies the main barriers to disclosure: fear of not being taken seriously, fear of worrying or burdening the parent, shame, uncertainty about whether the problem is serious enough, and not having the words. Many adolescents wait months or years before telling anyone at home, and in that time problems tend to worsen.
This handout treats the disclosure as a skill that can be prepared for. It normalises the difficulty, helps the teen clarify what they want from the conversation, offers plain opening lines and a simple structure (what is happening, how long, what you would like), anticipates common parental reactions including unhelpful ones, and gives a fallback plan if the first attempt fails. It is written for teens who already have a therapist or counsellor and are deciding whether and how to involve parents, and for those who need parental support to access help at all.
The professional version adds guidance on assessing safety at home before encouraging disclosure, on rehearsing the conversation in session, on offering a joint session as an alternative, and on the clinician's confidentiality obligations and limits in the relevant province.
How to use it
- Before using this handout, assess whether disclosure to this particular parent is likely to be safe and helpful. Where there are concerns about the home environment, consider other trusted adults first.
- Ask the teen what they want from the conversation: to be heard, to get help, to explain a change in behaviour, or to ask for something specific. The aim shapes the script.
- Rehearse the opening line in session. Many teens find the first sentence is the whole barrier.
- Work through the section on reactions. Ask which reaction the teen most fears and plan a response to it.
- Offer a joint session as an option if the teen prefers to have you present, or a letter as an alternative to speaking.
- Follow up. If the conversation went badly, help the teen identify the next adult to approach.
References
- Rickwood, D., Deane, F. P., Wilson, C. J., & Ciarrochi, J. (2005). Young people's help-seeking for mental health problems. Australian e-Journal for the Advancement of Mental Health, 4(3), 218-251.
- Gulliver, A., Griffiths, K. M., & Christensen, H. (2010). Perceived barriers and facilitators to mental health help-seeking in young people: A systematic review. BMC Psychiatry, 10, 113.
