Getting to Know Your Parts (IFS-Informed)

About this resource

Internal Family Systems, developed by Richard Schwartz, proposes that the mind is naturally made up of sub-personalities or 'parts', each with its own perspective, feelings and role, and that at the centre is a Self characterised by qualities such as calm, curiosity, compassion and clarity. Parts are broadly grouped as exiles (which carry pain, shame or fear from earlier experiences), managers (which work pre-emptively to keep the exiles from being triggered, often through control, perfectionism or self-criticism), and firefighters (which react when an exile is triggered, often through impulsive or numbing behaviour). The aim is not to eliminate parts but to help the person lead from Self and relate to each part with understanding.

This worksheet is an introduction in that spirit, suitable for clinicians who are not fully trained in IFS but who want to use a parts-based language with clients who experience intense self-criticism, shame or emotional swings. It guides the client to notice which parts show up around a chosen situation, to describe each part's voice, feeling and intention, to sense how they feel toward each part, and to write a brief message to one part from a calmer stance. It does not attempt the deeper work of unburdening exiles, which requires training and clinical judgement.

The professional version adds notes on the language of 'a part of me' as a tool for reducing fusion with a feeling, on watching for parts that are polarised with each other, on caution with clients who have significant dissociation or trauma histories where accessing exiled material could be destabilising, and on the overlap with compassion-focused work on the self-critic.

How to use it

1. Introduce the idea of parts gently and normalise it: everyone talks about 'part of me wants to and part of me does not'. Emphasise that no part is bad and every part is trying to help in its own way.
2. Choose a recent, moderately difficult situation with the client. Ask them to notice the different reactions inside, one at a time, and describe each in the third person ('a part that says...').
3. For each part, ask what it seems to feel, what it seems to be trying to protect the client from, and how old or familiar it seems. Stay curious and slow.
4. Ask the client how they feel toward each part. If the answer is anger or contempt, that is another part speaking; ask it to step back a little so the client can look with more curiosity.
5. Close with the message section and a brief check-in on how the client feels after the exercise. If strong distress emerges, return to grounding and hold the deeper material for later sessions.

References

• Gilbert, P. (2009). The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life's Challenges. Constable.
• Schwartz, R. C. (1995). Internal Family Systems Therapy. Guilford Press.
• Schwartz, R. C., & Sweezy, M. (2020). Internal Family Systems Therapy (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.